My Daughter, Just BE!
Our family celebrated Mother’s Day a week later than nationally on Sunday, May 15th. On Saturday I had a unique experience. I watched Smallville’s final show. In it, Clark Kent graduated into manhood as Superman. He had a conversation with Jonathan Kent and with Jor-el. I was moved to tears because of the fathers’ affirmations.
Following that, I watched Randy DeMain’s talk on “The Spirit of Elijah.” It was an excellent talk on what is needed today for the next generation. At the end, I was stunned with his revelation on Elijah. After he was used by God to defeat the prophets of Baal [1 Kings 18:25-40], he received a message from Jezebel that shook him to the point of fear. The first place he ran to was Beersheba. Why? Randy believes it was because it was “the place of the fathers”… Abraham, Isaac, Jacob. BUT! They weren’t there. He didn’t find a fatherly arm or fatherly advice. And so he went to the desert to die under a juniper tree. [1 Kings 19:1-4] Randy exhorted those of us who are over 50 to become a well of comfort, edification, wisdom and love. This Elijah generation that’s arising, who will battle the enemy with all their might, are going to need that place of rest and restoration that mothers and fathers provide.
But, WHO will be my mother and father?
I was very touched by the children’s cards and gifts… and yet, I had a deep longing in my heart. I miss my mother and my father so much. I feel as though I’ve been robbed of something very necessary in my life. My dad died when I was 20… that’s 40 years ago! My mother passed away 6 years ago. At one point in our celebration, I called my friend to the side and asked her for “a mother’s hug.” I broke down in tears. The next morning, I journaled my experience and told the Lord, “I need a mother! I need a father!” This is what He replied…
You have not failed. You are in transition. Change is never easy. External circumstances can shape the obstacles you must overcome. But your heart is always the place of My beating for you… My own heart for you.
Your worship touches My heart. Your cries touch My heart. Your joyful exclamations touch My heart. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Criticism –especially self-criticism — is too much me-orientation. Recognize the angle. Recognize the encroachment. But reject and rebuke the lie. I am a gentle Father with an abundance of mercy and compassion for you. Just simply come to Me. Tell Me your hurts, your pains, your doubts, as well as your desires. Don’t hide from Me. Bring everything to Me.
I love you, daughter. Rest in that. Deep breath. Deep peace. Let the joy of our union fill you with all that I am for your present. So that we, together, can forge your future. I will heal your past. I will show you the threads to cut as we unravel this unworthiness together. You are My beloved.
Just as you said to Mary* yesterday, the capacity to love grows and expands as the need increases. That is Who I am… ever-expanding love. I fill the universe with My love. Tap into that. And yes, I do know each of My children past, present, and future intimately… even to every hair and eye lash!
You don’t need to perform. Just BE.
* Mary is my daughter-in-law and the mother of two children. She worries that she doesn’t have enough time to love them individually.